I am so blessed to have been influenced by Julia Roberts at 9 years old rather than some of the celebrities on TV these days. I don’t worry about how big my butt is, how I can make my lips bigger or flashing my private area to random people as I get out of the car. Growing up Julia Roberts taught me to be kind, laugh at myself, love myself and to find love no matter how long it takes.
(Me in 1992. I tried to emulate her by curling my hair. I could never get my curls to stay. lol.) If you google pictures from her Pelican Brief days you will see how curly her hair was
I was handed every single card that should have made me fail. My childhood was a hot mess. I had posters of Julia Roberts on my wall and instead of giving my mom or dad a kiss goodnight, I talked to my wall about my day. My dad was usually passed out drunk, and my mom was not around at the time. It sounds weird and crazy but between 9 to 13, it was very therapeutic. I stopped doing this around age 14 after social services placed me with my grandparents. I then started writing songs and poems a lot more and made friends with a great group of girls in high school. My grandmother made a deal with me that as long as I read the book first she would take me to any Julia Roberts movie. I remember laying in bed reading, “The Pelican Brief.” I ended up falling in love with John Grisham books so that was a plus!
Both of my parents made mistakes they regret, and I forgive them both, but it won’t give me back my childhood. I was abused as a child by my step mother and father as some of you already know, and I even wrote to Julia about it to her fan club when was about 12 years old, which was about three years into my abuse. I thought for sure she would come to my middle school and rescue me or send help. I didn’t trust my school counselor’s and when I told a good friend of mine what was happening she confronted my step sister and made matter’s much worse. I didn’t know who else to turn to and I felt Julia was my last hope. I understand now that I wasn’t really her problem and she may have never received that letter.
After a year or so of more abuse, I finally met a girl named Kelley who still to this day is one of my best friends. Kelley noticed my bruises and came up with a game plan to get me out of there. We were in drama class together and without me knowing it she had already talked to our teacher. She just had a weird feeling and asked him advice on how to handle talking to me about it. How was it that I was abused from 4th grade until 9th grade and Kelley notices almost immediately of high school beginning? Most of the abuse wasn’t even visible. I had been put down and called names for years. Locked in a room right after I came home from school rarely fed although friends snuck me food for years at school because they noticed I never had a lunch. I ended up getting the courage to run away when I was around 13 shortly after meeting Kelley and with her and her parents help. I only ran away with my Julia Roberts stuff. (Magazine article’s friends usually gave me from school) I guess she was the only thing that made me feel safe so running away with it felt right to me. I don’t own any of it anymore, but that is the only thing I can think of to make it sound less crazy.
Me with my baby boys below:
A photo posted by Two boys and a hubby (@twoboysandahubby) on
When you are being starved and abused you need an out. I needed a fantasy world, and Julia was mine. She was my escape. If it wasn’t for her, I may have committed suicide, been a alcoholic, prostitute, got in trouble and went to jail, or married a wife beater. She taught me that even though I was in so much pain through her movies, magazines and tv interviews to be happy. I was not going to let anyone steal my happy ending. Now here I am at 35 years old looking back today at the 9 to 13 year old girl whom I used to be. I have an amazing husband whom I married in 2011. Two handsome healthy toddlers. I am a successful writer. When ever I see Julia Roberts on TV or in movies these days, I just think to myself thank god for her. I hope someday I can meet her in person to thank her for shaping me into the person I am today, but if not I hope, she reads this and knows that by just being her, she changed my entire life. (And no I no longer talk to your poster on my wall or have one for that matter. lol)
My husband and I with our kids above) Due to being starved I still struggle with my weight. I am hoping by being more open and sharing pieces of my childhood that I can conquer my eating disorder. The feeling of hunger is pretty much traumatizing to me and just gives me flash backs so I am always trying to stay full. I am getting better with the love and support of friends, family and my fans.
Just in case Julia reads this….Thank you, Julia. Keep being you. <3
To this day she is still someone any little girl should look up to.